Harry Potter and The Watching
by Patronus12
Summary: Basically, Harry Potter characters watch and react to YouTube videos about themselves. Enjoy :) Credit to Tawny for the cover collage. Note: I'm sorry for the delay in updates, but the next chapter should be up soon. Don't forget to leave a review or vote in the poll to let me know what video you want to see featured in the next chapter!
1. LITERAL HP Trailer - Tobuscus

**A/N: This first chapter is about the "LITERAL Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Trailer Parody" by Tobuscus. Look it up :)**

* * *

Harry and his friends, enemies, and frenemies were gathered around a... box. A box... with a shining screen. And another box with... were they keys?

"What is this magic?!" Quirell cried. **(Sorcerer's Stone reference ;D)**

"It's a muggle computer," said Hermione.

"Why did that old fool bring us to this?" Voldemort snarled.

"We'll probably find out soon enough," Sirius snapped back, glaring at Voldemort and his cousin (and killer), Bellatrix Lestrange.

She glared back with a smirk, clearly remembering how she had killed him. Harry's fists clenched. Ginny placed her hand on his shoulder, and he visibly calmed, but still glared at Bella.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, before Voldy spoke again.

"This is ridiculous. I have important things to attend to."

"Like... I dunno... world domination?" Ron growled sarcastically.

"How do YOU know? Do you have people spying on me? Is it Snape? I knew killing him was the right thing to do... I mean... No of course not... Why would I?"

"I am right here, you know, _My Lord,_" Snape growled, as the light side snickered at Voldemort's response.

"Oh, WHATEVER. I'm LEAVING. And I'm SO gonna kill that old fool- AGAIN!"

"I technically killed him, you know, because I was like forced."

"SHUT UP, SNAPE! I PLANNED IT!"

"STOP ARGUING, BOTH OF YOU!" Harry shouted.

"Yes, please, do us all a favor," said a calm, amused voice. They all turned to see Dumbledore.

"Well?" Voldemort snapped, fingering his wand. "What's this all about?"

"I have brought you all here to teach you a lesson- what happens when muggles find out about our world.

"We already know that," Malfoy drawled.

"Not from this point of view, you don't."

"What point of view?" James Potter (the first one) asked curiously.

"Youtube."

* * *

They all stared at the screen expectantly as the video loaded. Finally it popped up. They all jumped at the sudden burst of noise as a voice coming from the screen yelled "TOBUSCUS!"

"What in the name of Merlin?" Sirius yelped.

"Listen!" Hemione shushed as music came on.

**"Introductory helicopter nature shot.**

**Bad guy at a safe distance."**

"Hey! It's... me! This seems a little... woah... de-ja-vu!" Voldemort muttered.

**"Second introductory helicopter nature shot.**

**Bad guy at an uncomfortably close distance. (Turn)**

**Careful Harry, he doesn't have a nose."**

"Hey! I do so have a nose! It's just... small...?"

"The MUGGLES know my name, too?!" Harry exclaimed, horrified at the thought of being even MORE famous.

**"Harry need some sleep.**

**And he needs a nose.**

**And he needs some sleep.**

**And some new glasses.**

**And he needs a manicure."**

"I'll kill them all!"

**"Don't sleep yet Harry, he's gonna kill you **

**LOOK OUT!**

**Spell, dodge, too many passengers,**

**Dramatic turn.**

**How does that hold him up?**

**First time he touched a girl."**

"HEY!" Ron shouted indignantly. Hermione just seemed amused.

**"Pan up, pointy roof.**

**Leaf bed, look right.**

**This movie is extremely important."**

"MOVIE?!" A bunch of people yelled simultaneously.

"**Forcefield dissolves.**

**Dramatically raise hand.**

**That train is screwed.**

**Slowly look left.**

**This movie is the most important movie you will ever see.**

**Back up in a library.**

**Raise your hand. (and a wand)**

**Dragon's pissed. Weasley's scared **

**of a bunch of bad guys,**

**but he acts brave, while he runs."**

"HEY!" Ron shouted indignantly (again), and Ginny shushed him.

"**You've gotta buy two tickets"**

"So, not only is it a movie, but it's a movie that's 'Presented in two parts'," Lupin said. James rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for stating the obvious."

**"Masked guy on a broom, swerve.**

**Run throw exploding.**

**Running, closer shot, cast a spell, DUCK!**

**Be careful with that stick, too late."**

"Too late indeed," Voldemort said with a smirk.

Then, it reached a break, in which, on the clip, you could see Harry talking to Voldemort. They could clearly hear the singing dude say "He's grabbing his face, whatever" and they were all successfully creeped out.

"**_Okay, go!_**

**Dragon take off, people running.**

**Downhill people running FLEX.**

**Part 1, November walking.**

**Chase that fire you wizards.**

**Flying horse... lizards."**

"Lizards..." Sirius snorted, "'Cause it rhymes with... wizards... no?" Everyone just stared at him.

**"Look out Harry, too late got him.**

**Help him Ron. (swing)"**

For once, Ron looked smug.

**"Part 2, July 2 burning.**

**People running backwards screaming."**

**"**Voldy looked SO constipated," Fred muttered to George with a snort. A couple people laughed. Voldemort looked murderous.

**"Wave hand, upskirt, windy, kissing,**

**Snape, cast spell, climb, look, **

**Blow up the town."**

The Marauders said "EEW" at the parts where it said 'Kissing' and 'Snape'. Harry, Ginny, and Snape all blushed.

**"Wizard Lightning Battle."**

Everyone burst into laughter. The Weasley twins were actually rolling around on the floor. Don't ask why. No one will EVER know.

**"Zoom, huge shiny P,**

**Then other letters come out."**

It came to a close with a bunch of adds for the creator of the video, Tobuscus. Fred and George hopped up from the ground and started applauding. Everyone else just stared at the strange face they put on Hermione in the photo they had on there. When the twins saw what everyone was staring at, they immediately started rolling around on the floor laughing again. Dumbledore closed the computer.

"Well, it seems like the muggles favor Harry," Lupin said thoughtfully.

"Again, I'll kill them all," Voldemort growled.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so a lot of that probably didn't make sense if you haven't seen that video. So, I suggest you look it up- again, it's called "LITERAL Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Parody" by Tobuscus. Normally, when I search "Harry Potter deathly hallows literal" its the first one to pop up. It's HILARIOUS :)**

**Anyway, review please, and I will get the next chapter up ASAP! It will probably be about a episode of Potter Puppet Pals, most likely "The Mysterious Ticking Noise", so if you haven't already seen that then I suggest you look that up too.**

**Thanks for reading :)**

**-Breeze :) :) :)**


	2. The Mysterious Ticking Noise - PPP

**A/N: You asked for updates, so here you go :) Like I said in the last chapter, this chapter is about The Potter Puppet Pals' "The Mysterious Ticking Noise". Enjoy XD**

* * *

The next day, they all gathered in the same place as the day before, the Great Hall at Hogwarts. This time, however, they were eager to begin, and they sat in anticipated silence until Dumbledore walked in.

"Great, we're all here. Let's get started."

* * *

The music started as a sign came onto the screen. It read '_The Potter Puppet Pals_'. When it disappeared, another sign came up that read '_The Mysterious Ticking Noise'._ A ticking noise started and an odd-looking Snape puppet appeared. The real Snape frowned, but no one said a word.

**"Hmm... What is that mysterious ticking noise? Not over here... Not over there... Hmm... Kind of... Catchy..."**

Then he started to sing to the tune of the ticking.

**"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape. Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."**

A Dumbledore puppet popped up.

**"Dumbledore!**

**Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.**

**Dumbledore!"**

Ron's puppet joined in.

"**Ron, Ron, Ron WEAsley! Ron, Ron, Ron WEAsley!"**

Puppet Hermione appeared.

"**Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione Hermione.**

Then, puppet!Harry started to sing.

**"Harry Potter, Harry Potter, UHN! Harry Potter, Harry Potter, UHN!"**

They all sang simultaneously for a few moments before all of the puppets except for Snape and Harry dropped below the stage.

"**SNAPE! HARRY! SNAPE! HARRY! SNAPEHARRYSNAPEHARRYSNAPEHARRY-**

**DUMBLEDORE!**

**HEEERMIONE!**

**DUMBLEDORE!"**

They all resumed singing simultaneously for a few moments, then they all started to sing the same thing.

"**Singing our song, all day long at HOOOOOGWAAAAARTS!**

Then, puppet!Ron walked to the side of the stage and announced,

"**Hey, everyone! I found the source of the ticking! It's a pipe bomb!**

**YAAAAAAY!" **They all yelled, until the bomb exploded with an explosion of cloth (which is what the puppets were made of) and light.

"We're all so DUMB!" Ron said in disgust.

Then, Voldy puppet walked onto the screen.

"**Mwahahahaahahaaaaa!**

**Voldemort, Voldemort, ooh, Voldy Voldy Voldy Voldemort!"**

And a _"The End"_ sign popped up.

Voldemort burst out laughing, and he sounded like a maniac.

"You said that we were going to learn why introducing our world to Muggles was bad-" Fred (or George...?) started.

"-And I'm starting to see your point," George (or Fred...?) finished in disgust.

Meanwhile, Voldy kept laughing. Tears of laughter were even starting to fill his EEEEVIIIIL eyes. "They all blow up! And- and- I start SINGING!" He burst into another wave of mad laughter.

Everyone else walked away.

"THEY BLEW UP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading and for all your favs and follows! It means a lot to me!**

**And thank you very, VERY much to EmberskyofShadowclan for your review! I love your pen name, by the way- Warriors series, right? I love those books XD**

**Remember, the more you review, the more I update!**

**Thanks again!**

**-Breeze**

**P.S, I need a vote- The next chapter is going to be another Potter Puppet Pals, so here is the question- should I do Snape's Diary or Draco Puppet? Please submit your answer in a review! :) :) :)**


	3. Snape's Diary - PPP

**A/N: Hello, everyone!**

**I am soooo sorry for the author's note chapter. Well, I'm here with the new chapter! So, hopefully you all get this...**

**I am really sorry for not updating in so long :P This story is not my first priority, so I only do it every once in a while. Sorry...**

**I read your reviews (thanks for all of them!) and the winner iiissss...**

**SNAPE'S DIARY! Confetti!**

**I might do Draco Puppet some other time, so look for that! Also, I take suggestions, and I already got Harry Potter Draw-My-Life. I had to look it up to see what it is, and I LOVE IT! So many good ideas for it! Maybe I'll use it as a break from Potter Puppet Pals after a couple more of those chapters...**

**Oh and by the way, I may change the style of how I do this a little, to make it easier. Basically, just putting their names before what they say in the videos. Let me know how it works for your reading convenience!**

**This story may not have the most views, but it has the most favs and follows! SO thanks! :D**

**I won't keep you any longer. SOooo, here is the next chapter! Enjoy :)**

**P.S: THIS IS NOT THE EXTENDED VERSION OF SNAPE'S DIARY.**

* * *

Dumbledore was already there by the time the first person walked in the next morning. That person just happened to be-

"Good morning, Tom," Dumbledore said pleasantly.

"Dumbledore," Voldemort replied, with a curt nod. They sat on opposite sides of the room, but Dumbledore could see the Dark Lord sneaking quick glances in his direction every few moments.

"Is there something you need, Tom?"

"What? From YOU? No! No..."

A few moments of silence, and then...

"Well, actually, _surprisingly, _yes..." Voldemort muttered nervously and very uncharacteristically. "I was, er, wondering-"

"You are curious as to what we will be watching today," Dumbledore stated, rather than asked.

Voldemort sighed. "Well, yes..."

"Well, Tom, I am afraid that I cannot reveal that information just yet," Dumbledore told him.

"Old coot," Voldemort whispered, loudly enough for the man to hear, with a glare. Dumbledore, who had indeed heard, merely smiled pleasantly and began to hum.

Soon, everyone else came in, talking loudly. Once they had all taken seats around the computer and Voldemort had moved closer, Dumbledore said, "Excellent! Now, let us begin our third video."

* * *

Music started, and a red curtain appeared, which moved to the side to reveal a sign, which read:

**The Potter Puppet Pals**

"Ooh!" Voldemort said with frustration. "Not this puppet nonsense again! I did like the ending to the last one, but they really are just a load of waffle!"

Ignoring the last comment, Dumbledore answered, "Oh, we have a lot more of these to go..."

The sign that came up next mortified Snape into speechlessness and left the Marauders (yes, even Lupin and Pettigrew; some habits never leave you, even when you grow more mature or betray your best friends and join the Dark side), Harry, and some of the Weasleys rubbing their hands together in anticipation.

**Snape's Diary**

Puppet!Harry came running onto the screen, panting and holding a large book.

**Harry: Oh my God! Look what I found!**

**Ron: Is that a book?**

"Duh," random Hogwarts student number one said.

**Hermione: I know a thing or two about books-**

"Of course you do, Hermione," multiple people said at the same time, including Harry and Ron, who each patted one of her shoulders. She rolled her eyes.

**-and that's a book!**

**Harry: It's not just any book, guys!**

**Ron: Is it a young-adult vampire romance novel?**

Many odd strangled hissing noises came from half the room, and Cedric looked rather offended.

**TEN SECONDS LATER**

"Why are you in the corner, Ron?" Hermione asked, sounding rather confused. Ron's ears grew very red, and Harry snorted.

**Harry: Anyway, I just happened to find this book in Snape's bedroom in a locked trunk under his bed. It's his diary!**

"Why exactly were you searching through Snape's things, Harry?" Fred asked.

"And where can we find his bedroom? I'd like to know so we can sabotage it- I mean, ahem, what? I didn't say anything," George muttered nervously, glancing at Dumbledore who, oddly enough, winked at him.

"I have no clue, I didn't really say any of these things! It's just a stupid puppet!" Harry exclaimed.

**Ron: Wow! Shall we read it?**

Snape put his head in his hands, but it went unnoticed by most people, who were staring intently at the screen.

**Harry: I have a better idea! Let's read it!**

"Thanks mate," Ron growled. Harry shot him a half-apologizing, half-annoyed glance.

**Hermione: Oh what a fascinating character study this will be!**

"That's SO Hermione- always looking for the learning/work part of everything." Hermione then hit Ron in the head with a book that she had conjured up out of nowhere.

**Harry: 'Kay, this is the first entry. 'Dear diary...'**

The screen faded to show Snape sitting at a desk, writing in the diary with a quill. The diary entry was heard in Snape's voice, presumably in his thoughts. Everyone was silent, either out of dread (Snape) or anticipation (everyone else).

**Snape: Today, I ate some oatmeal for my breakfast. It was flavorless and watery. I thought of my mother. I cried.**

Everyone looked behind them to see Snape looking as though he was about to cry, though not over his mother...

**Ron: I'm hungry!**

**Harry: What else is new, fattie?-**

Ron looked as though he was about to say something, but Harry beat him to it.

"Don't ANY of you dare comment," Harry growled, in defense of his best friend. "If any one of you agrees..."

The room remained silent. Harry gave a satisfied nod, and Ron sent him a grateful look.

**-Let's get to the good stuff.**

**Snape: Today, I put on my raincoat and traveled to Knockturn Alley. I purchased a pair of fancy mice. When I brought them home, one devoured the other, and then died of loneliness. I felt envy.**

"Well, at least they were better than SCABBERS!" The twins, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Sirius all turned to glare at Pettigrew.

James looked rather confused. "Scabbers?"

**Harry: This is hilarious!**

**Hermione: Oh look Harry, I see your name!**

**Ron: Ooh, you're good at reading, Hermio-**

"Stop flirting, Ron!" George said with a smirk.

**Harry: WHAT?!**

**Snape: Today, that Potter boy showed me his middle finger.**

A muggleborn shouted, "Ooh, scandalous!"

**When I attempted to punish him with detention, he shoved me into a wall screaming, 'Bother, BOTHER!' over and over.**

Snape winced. Ron smirked. McGonagall frowned. Voldemort actually found himself enjoying this.

**Later, he and his orange friend-**

"Being ginger is COOL!"

**-repeated the violent act until I lost consciousness. Tonight, I prayed for the first time in twenty years. I prayed for the end.**

Snape finally found his voice. "If any one of you ever tries that, I will make sure that you are expelled!"

"What if you've already left Hogwarts?" James whispered to Sirius with a grin.

**Harry: I remember that, Ron! Give me five!**

**Ron: You already took my money, Harry!**

Harry and Ron face-palmed, and Hermione and Ginny tried but failed to hold back their giggles.

**Harry" Ugh, never mind...**

**Snape: I lost a button on my cloak today. Minerva pointed it out in front of the entire faculty. Oh, cruel attention.**

**Button, oh button, oh where hath thou fled?**

**Did thee tarry too long amongst fabric and thread?**

**Did thee roll off my bosom and cease to exist?**

**How I wish I could follow thee into the mist...**

"Wow, Snivellus, what a depressing back-story," Sirius said with a grin.

**Ron: What is a bosom, Harry?**

**Harry: Umm...**

**Hermione: Yeah, tell him, Harry!**

**Harry: Oh, look, another page!**

**Snape: Today while in the bathtub-**

**Harry, Ron, and Hermione: Eew!**

**Snape: -I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I was riding a thestral through a thunderstorm. Every thunderclap resolved into ****_their _****voices. 'Bother, BOTHER!' Suddenly, it became music. I was at the Yule Ball with Lily Evans.**

Lily looked over at Snape curiously, but he avoided her gaze.

**I asked her to dance. She asked me to die.**

James sent his wife a proud look, earning him a punch in the shoulder by said woman. No one heard Snape stifle a sob.

**Would that I could, Lily. Would that I could.**

**Harry: My mum was awesome!**

**Snape: When I awoke, my skin was prune-like from the tepid bath water, and I was late for golf with Lucius Malfoy.**

**Ron: Ooh, I like prunes!**

Then, a naked Dumbledore (PUPPET!) popped up next to them.

**Dumbledore: Did somebody say 'prunes'?**

**Ron: I said prunes! How did he know?**

**Dumbledore: What are you monkeys up to, studying for class?**

**Harry: No, we're invading Professor Snape's privacy by reading his personal diary we stole from his room.**

"Way to be blunt, Harry," Fred 'praised'.

"Yeah, honesty is the best policy!" George added (sarcastically).

**Dumbledore: But... you don't have any prunes, do you?**

"You're not even in _trouble_?" James and Sirius exclaimed, sending bewildered, yet proud looks at their son/godson.

"That must be a new record or something!" Sirius added.

**Harry: I'm afraid not.**

**Dumbledore: I'm very disappointed in you, Harry.**

"Oh, so NOW he's in trouble! Because he doesn't have any _prunes!_"

Puppet!Dumbledore walked away, and Puppet!Harry turned his attention back to the diary.

**Harry: Okay, back to the stinky book!**

**Snape: Today, the orange one accidentally drank one of my more expensive elixirs. He promptly vomited a glittering rainbow of foul waste.**

"Oh yes, very lovely, Ronald," Ginny said, wrinkling her nose.

**The classroom erupted with applause, triggering my migraine. I aborted the class and was left to clean the boy's sick. Halfway through, Argus Filch showed up and bragged about his many affairs with Hogsmeade barmaids. Then, he told me I smelled of broccoli and left without wishing me a happy birthday. I thought of my father. I cried...**

**Harry: This got boring. Let's write a new entry!**

**Ron: That's a really fun idea!**

**Hermione: Here's one of the quills I carry with me at all times!**

**Harry: Okay... I am Snape. I'm so sad because I poop my pants all the time. I don't have any friends because I stink like broccoli and poop. I teach potions to Harry Potter, and it's really boring because he's so cool, and it makes me have depression. Okay, I think I'll go cry now because- er, but not before I poop my pants. 'Cau- bye.**

"That was real mature of you, Harry," Hermione commented sarcastically, trying to block out the sounds of the twins, Ron, Harry, James, Sirius, and even Lupin laughing hysterically. Snape was simply scowling at them all.

**Ron: Ha ha! Can I try?**

**Harry: Be my guest!**

**Ron: I... ammm... Sss...**

**Hermione: Okay Ron, that was a good try.**

Then, Puppet!Snape walked in.

"Oooh yes!" James cheered. "I can't wait to see his reaction!"

**Snape: Ugh, someone knocked me unconscious and ransacked my room. Wait a minute, that book! What are you doing?!**

**Harry: Snape! Ron stole your diary!**

**Snape: WHAT?! You didn't read it, did you?**

**Harry: Oh, he read it alright. He read it all!**

**Snape: This is unacceptable!**

**Ron: I liked the story about the button, Snape.**

**Snape: You- you did?**

**Ron: It made me sad, thinking about that little button, lost and alone.**

"Cute, Ron."

"Shut up!"

**I hope you find your button, Snape.**

**Snape: So do I, orange one. So do I...**

**Ron: I like buttons!**

The video ended, and they turned to Dumbledore.

"Yes?" he asked.

They all shrugged, and stood up and left, until Snape, Voldemort, and Dumbledore were alone.

"I'm sorry, Severus," Dumbeldore said kindly. "It was necessary."

Voldemort smirked. "Yeah, sorry about your button, Snape!"

Snape thought of his grandparents. He cried...


	4. Ginny - PPP

**A/N: Hi again! I'm back again, and even though it's rather soon considering the fact that this story is 'second priority', see my latest Author's Note in Living in a Daydream to see why :)**

**This chapter is about the Potter Puppet Pal's "Ginny". Simply because I had ideas for it :D**

**Sorry for any errors in advance; my cat is sitting in front of the computer, and it's kinda hard to reach the keys... I don't feel like moving her, soo... XD**

**AAAANNND, now she's knocking over all of my school books. Great. Fantastic. Urgh.**

**Enjooooy!**

* * *

Harry and Ginny walked in together, looked around (they were alone), and proceeded to start snogging.

What an unusual beginning, you may think. But Albus Dumbledore could see why it all fit in perfectly.

"What an appropriate moment for that," he murmured happily, making the pair jump apart. "Ten points to Gryffindor."

Harry and Ginny didn't ask.

* * *

"None of you saw Mr. Potter and Ms. Weasley's demonstration before, so you have no clue how well this fits in." The old headmaster flipped open the laptop and they all waited with anticipation as the screen loaded. The black screen gave way to the stage again, and many people groaned. On the stage were the Harry puppet, and what presumably was the Ginny puppet. There was no introduction, strangely, so Dumbledore told them all the title.

"It's called 'Ginny'." Said girl leaned forward a little, but instantly regretted her decision to come back today.

**Harry: Oh, Ginny, you're so hot! You're like a stove, you're like a zesty pepper.**

*facepalm* went the crowd.

**I feel this connection. I don't know what it is about you, but I feel like you're my best friend- my hot best friend. You're so beautiful, like a Thomas Kinkade painting. I'm so into you.. Hey, don't move. I'll be right back. *zoooom***

**Hey Ron, I was just with your sister. She's so hot, Ron. Head's up, I'm gonna date your sister. **

**Ron: Oh, that's wonde-**

**Harry: I feel bad for you, Ron. It's like you probably don't even know how hot your sister is. She's really hot.**

**Ron: I don't know about tha-**

**Harry: I'm gonna make out with your sister tonight. I'm gonna french it up. I don't need your approval!**

**Ron: I fully support-**

**Harry: *zooooms***

**Oh, Ginny! Good God, girl, I can't get you out of my mind! Your freckles drive me wild, you know that? Oh, and that hair... I was just thinking, you know what would be so hot? I mean, like, really hot? If you got like, you know, a pixie cut!**

"Oh God Ginny, don't you ever dare get a pixie cut," Harry said. "I'd have nightmares about this every night..."

"It's just a haircut!" an offended girl with said hairstyle called out.

"Yeah, but if I saw her with one... My puppet self is scaring me!"

"Well, I like my puppet," Voldemort said approvingly.

**Like, real short and modern. I dunno, call me crazy, I just think it would really do it for me. I know what I like, and I like two things. Magic, and you. And me. Be right back. *zooms***

**Ron: Hello again, Har-**

**Harry: AH! Don't jump out at me like that! A face like that should come with a warning!**

"Join the club, Potter!" Malfoy shouted across the room.

**Ron: I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to frighten-**

**Harry: I'M FREAKING OUT, RON! I'm so nervous! I don't know how to ask your sister out. She's too hot...**

**Ron: Oh, no! That's quite a problem.**

**Harry: Look, I just need to practice. I'll be me, and you put on this bow and pretend to be Ginny. **

**Ron: Ooh, a roleplay!**

**Harry: I'll just stick this right here... Okay, Ginny. Hey, Ginny, how's it goin'? That's cool. Listen, I'm a man. You're a girl. The world could end tomorrow, for all we know!**

"Yay! I'm coming in!" Voldemort said giddily.

**Only a fool would wait! So c'mon, Ginny. Be my girlfriend. Be my witch. **

**Ron: I would love to, Harry!**

**Harry: You would? Oh, you've made me the happiest man alive, Ginny! I'm so happy, I could kiss you! *looks at Ron***

**Ron: *looks at Harry***

**Harry: *leans forward***

**Ron: *leans forward***

Everyone squeezed their eyes shut.

**Harry: Simulation complete.**

The crowd sighed with relief, and the horrible thoughts left their heads. Thoughts of world chaos and terror everywhere.

**I'm ready now! Thank you, Ron!**

**Ron: No problem, Harry!**

**Harry: *zooms* Ginny! You got that haircut!**

"But... isn't that Ron...?" Hermione asked, as comprehension... horrible comprehension... dawned upon them.

**It's nice. I love it! Um, wait a minute... don't move. I'll be right back. *walks to Ron* Hmmm... Hold on. *walks to Ginny* Hmph. *walks to Ron* Ah! *walks to Ginny* **

**Camera: shows whole stage with Ron AND Ginny.**

**Harry: *looks back and forth between them. turns slowly to camera.***

**Well... Avada Kedavra!**

The whole Weasley family turned to Harry, along with his parents and Voldemort. All were practically bristling.

Harry ran for his life.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for what felt like a weak chapter... Next time, a break from PPP!**

**-Breeze**


	5. Lumos Flies - All Caps

**A/N: Hellooo! I'm starting to see a pattern here: Take forever to update A Dark Lord's Anger, A desperate Hero's Hope; update Living in a Daydream a little faster; update this in like two days XD**

**I will now do some advertising for those of you who didn't see it on Living in a Daydream. Sorry if this is annoying and time-consuming for you but it is worth getting on this website. It is the perfect thing for Harry Potter fans besides Pottermore. The website is called Accio Nox and it is a role-playing website, run by the lovely Ashley. It is so much fun and completely freeeee! Fanfiction apparently doesn't like links, so just google Accio Nox and it should pop up :) Hope to see you there! My character on it is Rose "Breeze" Summers, by the way, and I will be happy to help you get used to it and I am always open for new plots and threads! Just send me a PM on fanfiction or on Accio Nox, preferably the latter :) Hope you enjoy it if you decide to join!**

**This chapter is on the song video, Lumos Flies, by All Caps. If you didn't know, it is a parody of Harry Potter and the song Fireflies by Owl City (which is a song I absolutely love love love!) I used a lyrics video for this, so the charries have a better understanding of it, and I got said lyrics video from the Youtube user christycullenxD. Thanks for unknowingly giving me something to use for this chapter... if you're out there... !**

**Enjoy the chapter! More awkward romance in this one...**

* * *

No... he shouldn't do it with them together, it would give too much away... Hmm... Maybe separately...?

His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of one Mr. Ronald Weasley, who yawned and ran his hand through his messy, obviously uncombed hair.

"Ah, Mr. Weasley!" Dumbledore called, beaming. "Good morning, good morning- May I have a word?"

The boy's hand fell to his side and he turned around, a look of bewilderment on his face. Upon seeing that none of his brothers were behind him, he turned back to the man and shrugged casually, apparently trying to brush of his uneasiness. "Sure, Professor."

When Ron was next to him, Dumbledore leaned over and whispered, "You don't mind any small amounts of embarrassment, do you?"

He looked confused. "No, sir, I guess not. I've put up with it until now..."

"Thank you, Mr. Weasley!" Dumbledore straightened up with an oddly bright grin on his bearded face. "After all, this is the whole point, yes? We can't let the muggles know about us or they'll make embarrassing videos!"

Voldemort looked up from the chair where he had appeared silently, a suspicious look on his face and his eyes narrowed. "What are you two whispering about?"

"Ah, Tom!" Dumbledore said cheerfully. "A very sickening video today- or, at least, to you..."

Ron looked as though he was regretting his decision. In fact, he looked rather sick.

Just then Hermione entered. Dumbledore beamed at her, as well. "Ms Granger! May I have a word?"

Now Ron was looking suspicious, Hermione looked confused, and Voldemort, who had placed two and two together, was looking sick. "Erm- sure thing, Professor..."

"Atta girl!" Dumbledore exclaimed in an overly chipper manner, and proceeded to half drag a confuzzled Hermione by the arm to the other side of the room. "Tell me- you don't mind a small amount of possible embarrassment, do you?"

"Umm... no, I guess not," she murmured back with a small blush. Then, showing true loyalty and brave self sacrifice, added, "Anything for you, Professor!"

The room was filling up now, and many questioning glances were sent towards Dumbledore and Hermione and some more towards Ron (who still had that look in his face). Most glances, however, were sent towards the Dark Lord, whose face was now tinted green.

* * *

A little while later, everyone was seated and accounted for. The computer was up and loading, and everyone sat in anticipation. Well, except for Ron. And Hermione.

And Voldy.

Dumbledore explained while they waited. "This is a song about us, written to the tune of a different song. I didn't choose the original video to show you, but a lyrics video, so that you may understand it better. It's called Lumos Flies."

"Lumos Flies?" Sirius snorted, but he was quickly hushed by Lily as the screen finally loaded.

Up came a screen filled with hearts (Voldemort groaned), and in fancy letters it said:

**Lumos Flies**

**By: Kristina Horner ****and**

**Luke Cornard (ALL **

**CAPS)**

**Blue= Luke (A.K.A- Ron)**

**Pink=Kristina (A.K.A- Hermione)**

**White= Both**

Now it was Ron and Hermione's turn to groan, and for many others to snicker. Hearts? Ron and Hermione? Voldemort looking as though he's about to sob? Only an idiot (AKA Wormtail) couldn't piece two and two together.

**Blue (Ron/Luke): **

**You would not believe your eyes...**

**I know that it sounds unwise.**

**She's so smart, and yeah, she's just a friend.**

**But she lit up the Yule Ball, **

**My heart pushed against the wall...**

**Just frozen, staring, here in the Great Hall.**

A chorus of "Awws" rang out around the crowd, and the beginnings of a blush crept onto Ron's face.

**I'd like to make myself believe **

**That she would look back at me.**

This time it was laughter rang out, but Hermione was simply staring at the redhead.

**It's hard to say that I'd rather leave then see her here with him,**

**But everything is never as it seems...**

**with Hermione.**

**Pink (Hermione/ Kristina):**

**I've gotten a thousand hugs,**

**Just tonight from Victor Krum.**

**That Durmstrang boy who gave me a chance.**

**But something just isn't right,**

**It's not how I viewed tonight.**

**I wasted time waiting for Ron's invite.**

**I'd like to make myself believe **

**That stupid boy would ask me.**

Heads turned, all eyes trained on Hermione, who quickly looked down so as not to see their amused faces. A blush was spreading on her face now.

Yes, Hermione, Hermione Jean Granger, blushing.

**It's hard to say 'cause he's stubborn,**

**and a pig, and fights with me,**

"HEAR, HEAR!"

"'EAR! 'EAR!"

**But everything is never as it seems... **

**With Ron Weasley.**

**White (alternating):**

**Oh, Ronald Weasley, you're the worst.**

**(Please, take me away from here...)**

**Maybe next time you should ask me first.**

**(Please, take me away from here...)**

**Viktor's dumb, but he treats me right.**

**(Please, take me away from here...)**

**Now, excuse me while enjoy my night.**

**Pink:**

**'Cause I'd cast a thousand charms-**

**Blue:**

**She makes me feel so unarmed.**

**White: **

**I wonder if Harry's noticed yet...**

Now Harry's brow was raised. He had been noticing some thing going on between them. Was the song right? If so, did the muggles have some power to see into the future?

**Pink:**

**Oh, he can be such a swine...**

**Blue:**

**And even though she's not mine...**

**White: **

**I won't give up,**

**These things just take time...**

Lily sighed. It sounded just like her and James...

**I'd like to make myself believe**

**That someday you'll fall for me.**

Fred and George began to clap and sway to the music, soon joined by the Marauders. Ron's ears were practically glowing red now, and Voldemort was crouched in a corner, curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth and whimpering with his hands over his ears.

**It's not like I'm gonna tell you to your face or anything,**

**But 'til it happens I'll still have my dreams...**

**Of you and me.**

**I'd like to make myself believe**

**That someday you'll fall for me.**

**It's not like I'm gonna tell you to your face or anything, **

**But 'til it happens, I'll still have my dreams...**

**Of you and me...**

**Blue:**

**I'd like to make myself believe**

**That someday you'd fall for me...**

**It's not like I'm gonna tell you to your face or anything, **

**'Cause I am too afraid you'd disagree...**

More "Awws" were passing over the crowd and people's hands were over their hearts. The tension for the poor couple grew when Mrs. Weasley ran over to hug them.

Ron and Hermione ran out with kissie faces from the twins, cheers from the girls, and gags from the corner following them.

'Well, I did ask them...' Dumbles thought and, with a shrug and a cheerful smile, turned off the laptop.


	6. Gandalf vs Dumbledore - WatchMojo

**A/N: HELLO LOVELY READERS AND YOUTUBE WATCHERS!**

**'Kay, so two announcements before you start reading...**

**Accio Nox, I don't think I mentioned last chapter in the ad, is having the Triwizard Tournament this year! Eek! *topples over in excitement* And the Goblet of Fire is still open for entries, until Halloween, I believe... So go on and enter your student's name before it's too late! *watches people running to join* Oh, but make sure you tell them that I sent you there ;)**

**Second thing! I completely forgot to mention in my last chapter that I have a poll up... Which was bad... *hides* But anyway, I do, on my profile. Check it out to vote for the video the next chappie should be about! Since I have no votes yet (due to my stupidity and bad memory), I chose the video for this one. Every chapter there will be a new poll up with new choices, so make sure you go and vote! And don't worry, I won't wait for months like I did last time :P (I'm still sorry about that, by the way). Every time I get to writing the next chappie, every few weeks or so, I'll close the poll and use the winner, no matter by how many votes it won. If there is no votes like this time (which you won't let happen, will you? ;D), I'll just choose at random. You can also still suggest videos, and if I approve them, they will be added to my ever-growing list! **

**Today's chapter is on the video "Gandalf vs. Dumbledore" by WatchMojo. Though I have only seen/read Harry Potter, there will be no bias on my part, so if you like Gandalf, don't feel insulted by the characters' words! I am simply trying to make them say what they would say... Well, not if they were IC, 'cause they're obviously not, but based on how they're reacted to things during the whole fic so far.**

**Sorry for the long, rambly author's note... I talk a lot :P Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

There was no dilly-dallying that day; no one dared to even make a sound. No, not even Voldemort. After all, Dumbledore was the only one he was ever scared of, and everyone could tell that Dumbledore was bristling.

Dumbledore really didn't want to show them this video. It annoyed him completely, even though he tried to be humble. He was beginning to see why some of them reacted the way they did to other videos. But he had to teach them this lesson, that NO ONE was immune to the Muggles' influence. Not even the most powerful of them.

Which was why they were all huddled around the laptop once more, and why it was flipped open and the screen loading. No one said a word as the video came up.

* * *

**Narrator: They're the two most powerful wizards around. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we'll be putting Gandalf against Dumbledore to see which old geezer rules them all. **

They couldn't contain it; gasps ran out through the room. Voldemort could be heard saying indignantly, "Only I get to call him that!"

**To keep this battle on the up and up, we'll only be focusing on their movie portrayals.**

**Screen: Round 1: Screen Persona**

**Narrator: Let's begin with the men behind the beards, and the depictions they bring to the screen.**

**Gandalf is portrayed by English actor Sir Ian McKellen as the mentor with a warm, if sometimes scolding, grandfather-esque demeanor. Though a vagabond with a soft side, he isn't always laughs and fireworks, as he nimbly bounces between the roles of friend, advisor, and leader.**

Though still no one spoke, their minds were buzzing. Movies? Actors? What the...?

And who the heck was this Gandalf dude?

**Meanwhile, English actors Richard Harris and Sir Michael Gambon portrayed Dumbledore as a gentle man of stature. While Harris accentuated the fatherly quality, Gambon was a much more secretive, exhausted and uncertain wizard, literally having to pluck memories to find his answers….**

"What?! No way!" Harry shouted angrily. "That's actually better! If you put your memories in the Pensieve, you won't forget anything! That was not right!"

**In a jam, we'd rather skip the mind games and have McKellen's Gandalf around for reassurance and guidance.**

**Screen: Gandalf 1, Dumbledore 0**

Cries of indignation ran through the crowd, but they were silenced as the video continued.

**Round 2: Magical Powers**

**Narrator: Gandalf claims that he should not be taken for a conjurer of cheap tricks! However, despite being here to help the mortals with their struggle, he does not use his magic for direct intervention, and therefore never creates anything overwhelming. Instead he uses his staff like a flashlight, force field, to push people over, and perform exorcisms. He is also able to communicate with animals.**

**The polar opposite, Dumbledore channels his power through his Elder wand to create incredible feats of magic, including a control over all things, including all of the elements. He is also able to make force fields and push people around, and his only limitation is that he refuses to cast any of the Unforgiveable Curses.**

**All in all, Dumbledore's got the goods, and his power leaves Gandalf spinning in disbelief!**

**Screen: Gandalf 1, Dumbledore 1**

Cheers rang through the crowd this time. They were so loud that it seemed as though Dumbledore had just won the Olympics for England. Some people even went so far as to pat him on the back, and McGonagall flew at the old man and pulled him into a surprisingly strong hug, wiping tears from her eyes. A small smile had appeared on Dumbledore's face, though his blue eyes were still grave.

**Round 3: Experience and Bravery**

**Narrator: While we've already established that Dumbledore is more powerful when it comes to pure magic, which is channeled through his wand, there's more to Gandalf than his powers and knowledge. Gandalf has spent his life on the road protecting the entire world of Middle-Earth, fighting countless forces of evil in the process.**

**He's unique for wielding his sword in combat. This makes him certifiably [awesome], as even at his age he's to get in the thick of battle while riding horseback, even going so far as to play hall monitor for the Balrog!**

**Unfortunately for Dumbledore, he has spent too much time in his cozy tenured position as the high school principal.**

This got people bristling again. High School?! And what was a Balrog?! It certainly couldn't be as dangerous as some of the things Dumbledore had faced... Whatever it was!

** Rather than quit his day job and join Harry in some sort of Fellowship, he's more than content to let children fight most of his battles…**

**Screen: Gandalf 2, Dumbledore 1**

Groans escaped from many lips.

**Round 4: Foes**

**Narrator: A hero is only as good as the enemy he faces. Gandalf faces Sauron, as well as his former mentor and friend Saruman, who together lead an army of unspeakable evil.**

**Dumbledore also faces a growing threat- however, Voldemort merely has a lust for blood purity of the magical world, which he hopes to achieve by commanding a handful of evil wizards and witches.**

**As unpleasant Voldemort's plan is, he isn't intent on complete genocide, so we're going to award this point to Gandalf, for facing a more menacing and relentless foe whose power truly reaches everywhere and threatens everyone.**

"WHAT?!" Voldemort screeched, leaping to his feet. "WHAT?! SAY WHAT NOW?! OH, SO I HAVE TO WIPE OUT THE HUMAN RACE IN ORDER TO GET ANY RECOGNITION?! IS THAT HOW IT IS, HUH?! I WANT TO KNOW WHO THIS GANDALF IS, SO I CAN RIP HIM TO SHREDS!"

**Screen: Gandalf 3, Dumbledore 1**

**Round 5: Helping The Hero**

**Narrator: Both Gandalf and Dumbledore are the masterminds of their respective movies. However, their plans both entirely hinge on helping a youngster dispel the evil.**

**Gandalf trusts the One Ring to Frodo, who must journey to destroy it by foot in the evil's back yard.**

**Dumbledore's pupil Harry is destined to save his world by building up with strength while locating relics, all so that he can battle Voldermort head-on.**

Many eyebrows were raised at that.

"One Ring? Oh, please," Hermione scoffed. "Voldemort had a locket, a cup, a book, a diadem, a snake, a _person, _AND a ring!"

Voldemort actually beamed at her. Hermione, a 'mudblood'.

Your mind, as well as everyone else's, has been blown.

**While we admire Dumbledore for settling bureaucratic and judicial hurdles for Harry, Gandalf pretty much sacrificed himself and led an entire battle, taking much of the pain, all so that his underdog friend could make a deposit in Mount Doom.**

"Argh! Do we need to make a list of all Dumbledore has done for us?! Really?!"

**Screen: Gandalf 4, Dumbledore**

**Verdict**

**Narrator: By a score of 4 to 1, our victor is the wizard from Middle Earth.**

The crowd exploded in roars of anger and indignation. Many obscenities were yelled and multiple people conjured up pencils to snap. A large banner with the face of Gandalf on it was hung by the rafters, and Voldemort lit the match that burned it to the ground. Above the din, the narrator's voice could somehow still be heard.

**Don't fret, Dumbledore fans, you can still be proud of his tenure as Headmaster, even if he was a man of words rather than action.**

**Agree with our verdict, or infuriated by it? Be sure to debate in the comments, and subscribe to for more entertaining versus battles.**

"INFURIATED!" Many hands reached towards the keyboard and fingers jabbed at the keys.

If you look on the comments now, you can still see their angry debate:

_INFOIKWOARIATEDMWLA!/ELQ]5;6MA;DNEKEFNKALNC!F'_


	7. Draco Puppet - PPP

**A/N: Heyyy! Sorry it's been so long since I updated, but reasons :P I actually put two of my stories on hiatus yesterday. There's a poll up on my profile concerning those stories, and I would appreciate it if you'd read them and vote. "They're called Living in a Daydream" and "A Dark Lord's Anger, A Desperate Hero's Hope." Aside from that, I'll also be posting two new stories very soon, so look for those! They won't have major plots, they'll just be very crazy, which is the kind of story I like the best ;D**

**The majority of you voters chose Potter Puppet Pals "Wizard Swears," but I decided against doing it for obvious reasons. So. Instead, I'll still do a PPP one, but it'll be "Draco Puppet," simply because it's hilarious and I have muse for it. The list will be reshuffled, and the poll will be up soon, but only after I get votes for my other poll. So, vote on it if you want another chapter soon! Thanks :)**

**~Breeze**

* * *

Dumbledore was feeling splendid about today's video. Last one had been a disaster, though it had been heartwarming to see even Tom sticking up for him. Today, no one would be insulted by the video. He had been so sure of it that he had only watched the first five seconds of the video. It just had that _happy _vibe that the last video had lacked.

He greeted everyone who entered with a cheery wave, even Tom, who looked sullen and ashamed of himself, probably because of the day before. No matter, it had happened, and it showed that he cared even slightly, which was all they could ever hope for with Tom. Progress, yes?

He wiggled his toes in his large, woolen socks in his boots as he took a seat, pulling the laptop towards him. He moved the mouse- that was what it was called, right? Or was it a rat? - a little to "wake up" the computer, and sat back, a happy twinkle in his eyes, as the screen loaded.

There were cries of outrage from around him, but he payed them no mind. The puppet version of Harry had appeared on the screen.

**Harry: Hello, I'm Harry Potter!**

"No you're not!" a random first year yelled, jumping up and shaking his fist. "You filthy impersonator, you!"

He quickly sat down again once he noticed all of the weird stares that were directed at him. Dumbledore hummed pleasantly.

**I've been reading your YouTube comments, and though most of you appear to be completely impressed with the quality of my work-**

"People are impressed with this?" Voldemort muttered under his breath. "They need me to rule the world. I need to show them what style is." He reached up to flip his hair, only to find that... he had... no... hair. He glared at Sirius and James, who were snickering and failing to hide it behind their hands.

**-I've noticed one recurring request. Many of you have asked for a Draco Malfoy puppet.**

Roars erupted, either with approval (from the Slytherins) or with outrage (from nearly everyone else).

**What a wonderful idea!**

"It is not!" Ron shouted. "Harry, is this even you?!"

Harry rolled his eyes.

**I took it upon myself to bring this amazing concept into action. Here he is!**

Everyone stared for a moment at the puppet, wide-eyed and mouths hanging open, before laughter erupted through the hall. Even the Slytherins couldn't hold back their laughter, and Draco was pouting, which added to the hilarious image.

**Say "hello," Draco!**

**Draco: Hello, Draco!**

The laughter grew even louder, and Draco looked infuriated.

**Harry: No, say "hello" to the audience!**

**Draco: Hello to the audience!**

**Harry:_ How_** **_dare__ you make a fool of me? _Why don't you tell them a little about yourself, Draco?**

**Draco: Hello, I'm Draco Maaalfoy! **

Half of the crowd's sides were already starting to ache from the laughter, but there was more to come.

**I'm totally rich, and I'm really proud that I'm Pure-blooded white! I mean, wizard! Hehehehe!**

**Harry: Hahahahaha! What a wonderful person!**

The twins were banging their heads against the table, Hermione was wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, and even the corners of Voldemort's non-lips were starting to curl up in a smirk.

**Let's learn some more about Draco!**

Some music began to play, and the people who had doubled over in laughter straightened up to watch.

**Draco likes hamsters,**

**Draco likes honey,**

**Draco likes toothpaste (a-chk, a-chk, a-chk, a-chk),**

**Draco likes money!**

Draco was hiding his face in his hands, and everyone else was laughing again. Except Voldemort, but his smirk had definitely grown by a fraction.

**Draco likes face paint, **

**Draco likes pliers.**

**Draco likes bowling, **

**Draco likes cartwheels,**

**Draco likes fire!**

Voldemort's eyes widened, and he stared, transfixed, at the screen. While everyone howled with laughter around him, he stared at the screen, his evil smile growing wider and wider. As the whistling continued, and puppet!Draco's head fell off, he finally cracked.

"FIRE!" Voldemort jumped up and screamed, causing several people to fall off of their chairs in surprise. With maniacal laughter and a twitching eye, he yelled, "FIRE! FIRE FIRE FIREEE! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

He ran out, leaving the hall in stunned silence. Draco looked up as the video ended, looking a little pained.

"Don't tell me what I missed. I don't want to know."

Dumbledore watched the blonde carefully. It had caused him more embarrassment? But the first five seconds of the video that he'd watched beforehand had looked fine! Ah, well, he thought as he popped a lemon drop into his mouth. It was all for the greater good.

* * *

**A/N: Agh. That ending. I can't... It felt weak, with too much laughter and stuff. I apologize. Tell me what you thought of it, regardless? And remember the poll for LIAD and ADLAADHH on my profile! The sooner I get votes, the sooner the poll for this will be up, and the sooner you'll get another updaaate!**

**And WOAH, when did I get to 42 reviews?! Thanks so much, guys! You make me happy :3**

**Thanks for reading :)**

**~Breeze**


	8. HP Honest Trailer - Screenjunkies

**A/N: Hi, everyone! I hope you're all surviving the exam season/having a good summer. Thank you for being patient with waiting for updates!**

**I would like to thank the following people for leaving suggestions for videos to react to:**

**Lonesome Road, LanternLover23, Love's Little Dove, Yuki Kira Phantomhive, guest (Guest), Ageofempierswar, two more Guests, Sianna Scal, wizards-rose-and-doctors-oh-my, DanDrake**

**Special thanks to The Richmaster for leaving a review with quite a long list of suggestions :)**

**I have considered all of your suggestions and added many to my list. Also, thank you to other reviewers who didn't leave suggestions, and to all those who favorited/followed. WHEN DID I PASS 50 REVIEWS, FAVORITES, _AND_ FOLLOWS?! Thank you so, so much! :D I didn't expect this to be this popular. The amount of people who are interested in this fanfic is my motivation to continue. I hope this chapter meets your expectations.**

**TO SourYoyo (Guest) and all other confused people: I am Breeze :) Tawny is my friend, and one of my cowriters on this joint account.**

**Due to the results of the poll, in this chapter, the cast of HP will be reacting to Honest Trailers- Harry Potter by the Screenjunkies. Enjoy!**

* * *

The first people to walk into the Great Hall for the next meeting were met in a strange, and slightly terrifying, sight indeed.

It appeared that the long break between videos had not been enough time to quell Voldemort's… fiery passion from the end of the previous meeting. This was made obvious by the fact that he was the first to arrive, and was entertaining himself with a Muggle cigarette lighter. He held the flickering flame so close to his face that if he had a proper nose, the tip of it may have melted. He flicked the lighter on and off, his evil grin pronounced in the light.

Dumbledore pitied the eager group of first years who had arrived before the other students. Luckily for them, the rest of the crowd didn't take long to rush in and save them from the situation. Everyone was bubbling with excitement.

Dumbledore hummed pleasantly to himself, nonchalantly braiding his beard as he watched the last few people enter. It was good to be back.

"I do apologize for the long wait you all had to endure," Dumbledore said to the group. He chuckled when he saw that many people were leaning forwards in anticipation as he wiggled the mouse to wake up the laptop.

Voldemort looked up from his lighter with a scowl. "What took so long, Santa?"

James raised an eyebrow. "That was terrible."

"Shut up, mudbl- Er, blood traitor…?" Voldemort looked to Lucius desperately. With an understanding pat on the shoulder, Lucius handed him the copy of _Insults for Evil Dummies_ he'd been reading.

"Siriusly, though," Sirius asked with a grin. "Why were we left hanging for so long?"

"There were some complications with the connection," Dumbledore explained. "Even with the anti-technology wards down, sometimes Muggle technology doesn't work as well as one would like."

"WiFi problems," a stereotypical Muggleborn teenager hissed with a shudder.

"But everything is under control now," said the Headmaster with a smile, "so let's begin, shall we?" He opened the YouTube tab and pressed play.

* * *

The first thing to appear on the screen was a single white block of text, which a few people recognized as a YouTube comment. It read, **[I beg of you! HARRY POTTER!]** Many comments with similar requests and demands followed, appearing on the screen at a more frequent pace.

"Popular enough yet, Harry?" Fred asked with a grin.

**Narrator: Okay, already!**

The next screen announced in large text, **"THE FOLLOWING IS AN HONEST MOVIE TRAILER; A SCREEN JUNKIES ORIGINAL PRODUCTION."**

"It's that thing about movies again," Ron pointed out. "Why do the Muggles keep saying we're in one of their movies?"

"I'm not sure," Hermione said, her facial expression showing her confusion. "I did some research during the break-"

"Of course you did."

"-But I didn't find anything. Do you know anything about this, Professor?"

Dumbledore just smiled to himself.

**From JK Rowling, the author of the series that kept Borders open for another few years, comes the movie adaptation for people too lazy to read.**

At the next clip of Uncle Vernon shoveling ice cream into his mouth, Harry and the twins burst into laughter. "That's your uncle, right?" George asked Harry with a grin. "He was almost too lazy to save his precious boy after our prank." This led to more laughter.

**Harry Potter!**

**Hagrid: Yer a wizard, Harry.**

Hagrid beamed as he appeared on the screen.

**Narrator: When an evil, nose-less freak threatens to take over the world-**

"Hey! How many times do I have to tell you Muggles-"

**-it's up to this boy wizard, his totally useless friend, and his superior-in-every-way hot lady friend to defeat him. Uh, and when I said hot, I only meant in the last three movies after she turned eighteen - hah - pervs.**

Hermione scrunched up her nose in disgust, and Ron looked quite offended. Harry just sighed in annoyance. The narrator was already getting on their nerves, though a few other people in the room snickered.

**Journey along as they travel to a magical boarding school where kids learn potions, spells, and divination, but not English, math, or science. Where technology seems to be frozen in the 19th century, replacing cell phones and the internet with quill pens and owls, and where child endangerment is totally no big deal.**

Clips of dangerous occurrences played as the narrator paused, including Slytherin's basilisk attacking Harry and Ginny, Hermione dodging the troll's club, acromantulas flooding through the forest, the hijacked bludger nearly killing Harry, etc, etc. Lily and Molly winced, sending looks of concern towards their children.

**My goodness!**

As clips of students in danger continued to play, McGonagall exclaimed, "I still have no idea how this school hasn't been shut down yet."

**Seriously, how have they not shut this school down yet?**

McGonagall sent a pointed look towards Dumbledore. He popped a lemon drop into his mouth. "Well, Minerva, at least there has not been a death in over fifty years." Voldemort pouted.

**A franchise so epic, it took 10 years, 8 films, 4 directors, and 2 Dumbledores to tell. Featuring:**

**The one that started it all;**

**The one everyone hates;**

**The one everyone loves;**

**The one with shovel-face;**

A few laughs were directed at Cedric, who looked quite offended. "It's not my fault that my alternate-universe self isn't as cool as me!"

**The one with the raging hormones;**

**The one where Dumbledore dies– Oh, spoiler alert;**

"Wait a second." Harry dove for the mouse, pausing the video in the middle of the narration. "We really need to talk about this for a second. The Muggles obviously know of us as characters in some sort of movie. But where are we in this movie timeline? I mean, currently, while watching this. You're supposed to be dead-" He pointed at his parents and Sirius- "And you… and you… Pretty much half of the people here have died. And I killed _you_!" Voldemort stuck his tongue out at his rival. "How are we all here, watching this? How is this even possible? How-"

"Hush, Harry," Dumbledore said with a small frown. "We have to be careful or we'll break the fourth wall."

"What?"

"Nothing. Perhaps I will be able to explain all of this at a later date. For now, let us continue."

Harry reluctantly clicked on the play button.

**The one you can skip;**

**And the one that made adults cry like little babies.**

"I won't even ask about the whole movie thing again… But why are they all named after Potter? I'm quite important and _clearly_ the coolest person here." Voldemort flipped his lighter and dove to catch it; however, it bounced out of his reach and clattered to the floor. Pale skin darkening in a blush, he flicked his wand to conjure some snazzy sunglasses onto his face. He smirked in satisfaction for a brief moment… before, due to his lack of a nose, the sunglasses also fell to the floor. Ignoring the mocking laughter around him, he fell back in his seat, crossing his arms and pouting once more.

**Follow our heroes as they transform from adorable youngsters struggling to act-**

**Harry: I… can't be a… a /wizard/.**

**Narrator: -to awkward tweens, to barely legal heartthrobs, to young adults pretending to look like grownups. Ron really let himself go…**

"Oi!"

b**itness the magic that will dazzle you with questions like:**

**'If magic is supposed to be secret-'**

**Snape: You have risked the exposure of our world!**

**Narrator: '-why is their doorway in the most highly trafficked subway station in London?'**

**'Why are all the bullies in one House-'**

**Sorting Hat: _Slytherin!_**

**Narrator: '- and why don't they just expel them?'**

"House stereotypes!" Shouted an indignant fourth year.

**And, 'isn't it disturbing that this rat on Ron's crotch is actually a grown man?' _Eugh!_**

At that comment, Ron's face morphed into one of absolute disgust. If looks could kill, Wormtail would have been repeatedly stabbed and dropped dead in an instant under the intense glares of Sirius and Lupin. Instead, he was left red in the face and sputtering.

**Relive the excitement of acclaimed British thespians yelling nonsense-**

The video now showed clips of many of the adults in the group, with text listing names they'd never heard of and awards they didn't know they'd ever won. McGonagall, for example, was left in confusion upon seeing a clip of herself listing the House names, with the screen reading "Academy Award Winner Dame Maggie Smith." The most notable of these clips was arguably one of Dumbledore calling out "Rubeus Hagrid!"; this left many giggling at the Muggles' view of the name as "yelling nonsense." Hagrid, while proud to have been included, was not as pleased as he had been earlier.

**-battles that would have been way cooler with lightsabers… or if they just moved around a little more-**

"True," murmured a few Muggleborns sporting Star Wars t-shirts.

**-and Rupert Grint's dumb face.**

"My face is not dumb! And my name isn't Rupert Grint!" Ron frowned.

**Starring…**

**Luke Skypotter;**

The aforementioned Star Wars lovers cheered.

**Ginger Spice;**

**Your First Crush;**

**Warwick Davis;**

**Professor Hans Gruber;**

**Claudio Miranda;**

**Hairy Old Man;**

James snorted, and Sirius punched him playfully in the shoulder.

**Warwick Davis;**

**Forest Whitaker;**

**Hodor;**

**Michal Jackson;**

At this, Voldemort jumped up and began performing the _Thriller_ dance. Upon receiving strange looks from those familiar with the reference, he stopped mid-Thriller and sat down slowly. "I know what that is because… reasons… Hehe…"

**Lindsay Lohan;**

**Warwick Davis;**

**Vladimir Putin;**

**Larry King;**

**Gandalf the Gay;**

**And Warwick Davis-**

By the end of this long list, many Muggleborns were left breathless with laughter at the references to recognizable Muggle actors. "Lindsey Lohan! True, though!" one shouted.

Flitwick and Griphook were just confused. "We're definitely different people, you know," Flitwick piped up awkwardly.

**HARRY POTTER!**

**…So… Quidditch makes absolutely no sense, right? A 150-point ball? That's just nonsense right there!**

"OI!" James jumped up from his seat. "One does not simply insult the glorious game that is Quidditch! _This is blasphemy_!" Harry grinned at his father, and Lupin, chuckling, pulled his friend back down into his seat.

As the video ended, the narrator reached his conclusion with seemingly random nonsense.

**Thanks for watching. Be sure to subscribe!**

**'You shall not pass!'**

**'I love lamp.'**

**'They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me! Oh my goooooood!'**

**'How's it going, royal ugly dudes?'**

**'Allison, I love you. Will you marry me?'**

A girl named Allison's cheeks went pink.

**'What the hell is a Hufflepuff?'**

The video ended and Dumbledore closed the laptop before the Hufflepuffs could say anything. He turned to the group. "I know you all have many questions, but as I told Harry before, I cannot answer them yet." He smiled sadly upon hearing sighs of annoyance and disappointment from the crowd. "I apologize. I hope you enjoyed the video despite the confusion, or at least learned more about the Muggles' views of us from it. I will see you all again for the next video, I hope."

This prompted most of the group to leave. Harry waved to Dumbledore as he passed, and the man smiled pleasantly back at the boy.

Soon, only Voldemort was left, struggling to keep the sunglasses on his face with a frown. He looked almost sad for a moment. With a flick of Dumbledore's wand, the sunglasses stayed snugly plastered to the Dark Lord's face. Voldemort looked up in surprise.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with… pity? "Nice sunglasses, Tom."

Voldemort stared at Dumbledore with a blank expression before his features morphed into a scowl. "Don't expect me to thank you." He got up and left with a dramatic swish of his cloak. Dumbledore picked up the laptop and his bag of lemon drops and followed his former student out of the room.

* * *

**I just realized that I'm updating this on this fic's second birthday. I haven't updated nearly enough in two years, but I wanted to thank you all for still being interested after all this time!**

**Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Don't forget to check my profile for the next video poll, and feel free to leave more suggestions in the comments. Thanks for reading!**

**~Breeze**


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